4 New Year's Resolutions That Will Change Your Child's Life

I am typically not a great fan of setting New Year's resolutions, particularly those that will add stress to my life. So this year I got inspiration from Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist, Katie Hurley. She suggests we teach our children to focus on things that really matter. To help them make choices that will lead to “improved emotional functioning, greater happiness, and lower stress.”
 
4 New Year's Resolutions That Will Change Your Child's Life: The first two are Hurley’s and the second two, ours.
 
Slow down:
I know you've heard it over and over again, but it's worth repeating. Kids are over-scheduled, running from activity to activity, barely stopping to eat. They're playing multiple sports in any given season and joining activities just because they can. They’re tired, cranky, and unable to sit and just be.

And their parents? To be honest, I'm not sure how they do it. But I do know that it is long past time to wake up from this generation of overachieving. That mini-Monet class is NOT what will eventually get your child into the university of choice. Give your kid a break. Give yourself a break. Learn how to listen to the quiet and slow down.

Unplug:

Technology is great and it certainly makes life easier. But it also creates a disconnect. Parents rely on it. Children crave it. Once the cycle begins, it can be very difficult to stop.

Make a decision to unplug more in 2014. Create your own "be present" box to store your iThings when it's time to focus on family, your spouse, or your friends. Show your children that life is fun and exciting without games and constant connection to the outside world.

Gratitude Muscle:

Research shows that concrete benefits happen when children learn to count their blessings. Young kids were asked to list 5 things they were grateful for each day for a two week period. The results? They had a better outlook on school and rated higher satisfaction in daily life compared to a group of children that listed 5 hassles. A similar study with teens reported significant results as well - less depression and envy, and a more positive outlook.*

And gratitude isn’t just for our kids! Couples also experienced lasting improvement to their relationship when writing a daily gratitude or appreciation for their partner.

An easy way to kick-start this with your family is to set aside one dinner a week where you each share a gratitude or appreciation for one another.

Be encouraging:

When you acknowledge your child for working hard on a project, or thank them for their contribution at clean up time, you send an important message: You and your efforts are valued in this family.

We all enjoy a pat on the back and so do our kids. They need to hear that the painting they created gives someone pleasure.  They need to hear that they dug deep out there on the soccer field and that their effort helped the team. Give them the words. Cheer loudly.

Here are some ideas to get you started …

• Describe: I noticed you helping your brother with his shoe laces; I noticed how you passed the ball to your friend so they could score a goal.

• Appreciate: I appreciated your help today; I appreciated your patience at the store.

• Believe in their ability: You can do this, I have seen you do things harder than this, I have confidence you can figure this out.

These 4 Resolutions share one common thread: They begin with you.

So as you consider possibilities for the New Year, keep your family in mind. Let’s resolve to ramp up the happiness quotient and decrease the stress.

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*Other Resources:

Downloadable Handout: How to start a weekly Family Celebration

Improve your parenting skills. Check out our most popular courses!

Wall Street Journal article: A little gratitude goes a long way