When Your Child Talks Back or Hits

Parents Ask:
I'm having a very challenging time with my 8 year old son, over bad-mouthing. He calls me dumb or says shut-up when he doesn't get what he wants. It mostly happens when he is hungry. I explained to him I understand he is upset or frustrated for a reason that I don't know, however it is not acceptable to bad mouth me or hit me.

I am not sure how to handle this. Please help.

Some suggestions:

You're understanding and empathetic response to your son is a good place to start. Another way to say it could be: "You must be pretty upset to behave this way - do you want to tell me about it?". If he still chooses to be disrespectful toward you, then it's important to show him how you feel about his choice of behavior by disengaging in a kind manner "this isn't working for me". Rather than telling him how he should behave, for two simple reasons: you don't control him, and he already knows that his behavior is not appropriate.

So instead, show him that you're in control of you and communicate your willingness to listen to him when he's ready to approach you respectfully. "I'll be in the other room and happy to listen to what's bothering you when you're ready."
Let me know how it goes!

Warmly, Beverley

Beverley Cathcart-Ross is an author, speaker, certified parent educator, and Founder of Parenting Network.