How many times have we heard this direction when getting on a plane and not given it a second thought? The point is that we are useless to anyone else if we are not functioning properly ourselves.
Summer is a great time for kids to recharge their batteries but often parents are run ragged keeping the kids busy and happy. As we move through August, we hear more and more from parents, “I can’t wait until the kids go back to school!” Which is a bit of a contradiction, because really, why would we want summer to end? Our kids sure don't!
Often, as parents, we put our own needs on the back burner to meet the perceived needs of our children. And what children really need are well-rested, well-exercised, and well-cared for moms or dads! What we eat for breakfast, how much wine we drink, whether we're always rushed, how we manage conflict and deal with our feelings – we're always role models for our children. So it's in everyone's best interests that we attend to some of our needs and it's important our kids see us doing it!
Paying attention to our physical health is one thing; paying attention to our mental health is another. For example, practicing self-respect is just as important as watching our diet, exercise and sleep patterns.
Over the years with my own four kids in the summer, I would practise self-respect in many small ways. Not that I got the results I was hoping for all the time, but when I did it felt great!
Here are some practical examples:
"No, I'm sorry, but story time is over. It's time for me to say goodnight.”
“I’m not willing to do any more puzzles. I'm puzzled out!”
“Yes, we're having something I like for dinner for a change.”
“I’m going to take a bath now for 20 minutes. By myself.”
“I’m not willing to argue with you, it's your night to do the dishes.”
“I will drive you to the mall when the den is clean.”
“I’m going to go to my room for a while to calm down and collect my thoughts.”
Some of these approaches take patience and determination and may require ignoring bad behaviour for the moment, as many children are persistent and may try to wear us down. A calm and caring tone of voice will go a long way too!
Setting limits for ourselves is always worth it in the long run - children learn resilience, self-control and to respect Mom and Dad’s boundaries. When we show self-respect and decide what we will and will not do, we also model for our children how to behave self-respectfully. This knowledge contributes to self-confidence, healthy relationships and a strong self-esteem.
So do plan to do something “oxygenating” for you every day. You’ll be happier and so will your kids and just maybe you’ll wish summer would never end too!
Doone Estey
Partner, Parenting Network
P.S. Our Summer Early Bird Special is happening now on all of our classes! (EndsAugust 31st) visit:http://www.parentingnetwork.ca/
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