I helped a mom with this issue today and thought I'd share it since likely there are many of you dealing with a very physically sensitive child.
Here's her situation
I'm having such a hard time with my son's behaviour and I'm starting to think it is something more than just a 2 year old tantrum. He has a melt down over his shoes (taking them on and off, crying hysterically because they don't feel right); his hands feeling "sticky" when they're totally clean (but perhaps clammy); and needing to wear only "cozy", extremely soft t-shirts.
I'm noticing it more because we're at the beach for the week and we're constantly dealing with the crocs, the wet or sandy feet, etc. These aren't power struggles (although we're definitely going through that too) - he just gets so frustrated and completely breaks down. At this point, do I take him to a psychologist or does this sound like a typical parenting a 2 year old issue to you??
From, Beached out Brenda
Brenda here are some suggestions
You're starting to see both a pattern of behaviour, and your son asserting his will! The good news here is that patterns can help you anticipate and put solutions in place so that he can look after his own needs and be less dependent on you to 'fix it'. For example, placing a bin full of water outside by the cottage door allows him to stick his feet in and get the sand off whenever he wishes. A towel could be next to it as well if wants to have them dry. He could even wash his hands off in the bin, or a facecloth placed on the edge of the sink could do the trick as well.
The key is for you to become less entangled, and to send him the message that you respect his preferences and you'll support him in finding solutions for himself. As far as some psychological issue
Your son could have a heightened sense of touch/feel/smell and be far more aware of shirt labels on his skin, clothing too tight, seams on the insides of his socks, stiff shoes, etc. This will likely ease with time. Some specialists recommend doing a lot of body massage and rubbing different textures on his skin at a calm, fun time - helps desensitize him a bit. (ie. When playing at the beach, have him rub some sand on your legs and then on his own legs, arms, etc - and then both of you run in the water to rinse it off!)
Let me know how it goes. :)
Warmly, Beverley P.S. Parents if you recognize your child in this, please share your solutions with Brenda!
Beverley Cathcart-Ross is an author, speaker, certified parent educator, and founder of Parenting Network.
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Meltdowns over sticky hands and dirty feet...
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5 comments:
Thanks so much for your suggestions! Feeling much more empowered and capable after reading your response, I set out a towel at the edge of my pool chair for my son and every time he came running out of the splash pad and cried about his "sticky" hands, he just used the towel at the end of my chair. I did not get involved and eventually he started splashing in the water and playing with his brother, completely forgetting about his hands. He also put his crocs on today and said "I not going to cry" and then put on his crocs and clapped for himself! So I just reminded him of how he was able to do it without tears. Thank you as always for the fantastic advice!
This sounds a lot like my son and although he had other issues, this went on for years and was a great source of frustration because otherwise he was a great kid.
After seeing various doctors with no luck, I found info myself on Sensory Processing Disorder and he was diagnosed at Sick Kids and was able to attend a weekly SPD clinic there. It was a great learning experience for us and taught us to meet his needs and taught him how to meet his own needs. He needs a Sensory Diet(not a food diet, a touch diet)... just enough to fill him up for the day...and he copes better that way.
Beverly is right....try lots of hugs, rubbing hands, spinning, all different things that please your child and give him positive mental feedback. Good luck!
Thanks Annabelle for sharing your experience. It's been a number of years since I looked into the SPD programme at Sick Kids in Toronto -do you know the age range of children they can treat these days?
Beverley
I was thrilled to see this article, as I have an anxious/highly sensitive daughter (as determined by me). I read 2 library books that I found helped me better understand the traits, both of which are hereditary. One was "The Highly Sensitive Child" and the other was "Dealing with anxious children". I have found that the tantrums about itchy clothes, etc. have disappeared with age. It was worse with me around age 3 and my daughter is turning 6.
It was turtlenecks with my daughter! She literaly ripped one right off when she was 3 years of age. We had the same experience - it settled down by the time she was 6 years old.
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