Parents of teens all over Toronto, probably all over the country had been waiting for the news of what happened to 14 year old Brandon Crisp. He had been missing since Thanksgiving Monday, after a fight with his parents over the excessive use of his Xbox. Then the terrible news broke when Brandon’s body was found last week.
A shock wave had gone through the community. Parents of teens were devastated and wondering what went so terribly wrong.
Using the parent’s power to take away Brandon’s prized game box seemed to be a good solution to help the boy get over his obsession. However, when using power or control over others, we face possible backlash, such as Brandon running away from home. In today’s democratic atmosphere, using power over another human being is disrespectful, even if it is done with the best of intentions. The only exception is when the situation is life-threatening.
Sitting down with the teen and solving the problem together would be a much more effective way to deal with the situation. Using respectful communications skills, parents should first listen to the teen’s position and how strongly he feels about it. Then share with him their position and the reasons for it. And finally, together they should search for a mutually acceptable solution. Problem solving is not effective when done in a medium of anger.
by Georgine Nash, Co-founder of the Parenting Network
Parenting Network guides you towards more harmony in your home and healthier relationships. We provide you with the life skills necessary to raise caring, cooperative and responsible children. Our parenting courses are invigorating and fun, making learning a whole lot easier. Parents love the results – improved family life, increased confidence in their parenting, and the chance to bring out the best in their children.
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