The December holidays are no
doubt a time for gift giving, but how much is too much?
By Jennifer Collins
It has always been a
priority to make Christmas just as wonderful and magical for my own children as
it was for me. To make lots of memories and to spoil them a bit, too. But recently my
husband and I have decided to scale back the focus on gifts. We notice the bins
of toys the kids neglect, the puzzles that are never put together, the dolls
that aren't played with. Our kids have more than they need. More than they
want.
A couple of weeks
ago I asked my children if they could remember what gifts they received
last Christmas. They could only name one or two. What did they remember most
about our family Christmas traditions? My daughter said she loved going to the
nursing home and singing to the residents. My son’s memories were about making
holiday-themed cookies and wearing Christmas pajamas while reading “Twas the
Night Before Christmas” before bed on Christmas Eve. And of course they remembered
the shenanigans of our elf “Cole” that stays with us from Thanksgiving to
Christmas and reports their actions to Santa each night.
My children remember
more about the gifts they've given others than the presents they received
themselves—such as the customized pencil-and-crayon vase my daughter gave her
first grade teacher and the glittery hand-print ornament my son made for our
tree. They've picked out special toys for children their age from the Angel
Tree and have dropped coins into the Salvation Army’s red kettle. My children
seem to understand intuitively that the true joy of Christmas is connected to
the thoughtful and careful process of giving.
This year we are doing
Christmas differently. We will give our children fewer things and yet enrich
their lives with more of the holiday experiences they remember so well from the
past. They will be receiving a few handcrafted gifts from us and some
items that they have on their lists— a sword, Lego and pajamas for our
four-year-old; craft supplies and books for our eight-year-old. But they won’t
be receiving any of the extra “fillers” that always seem to creep in. Our kids
seldom have lists that are miles long. We are the ones that over-do it each year. We are
the contributors to their overflowing, neglected toy bins.
This Christmas we are
also going to spend more time serving others and looking for ways to help out
in our community. We will sing Christmas carols in the nursing home again. We
will make a pet food donation to the local animal shelter. My daughter also
wants to bake cookies for the local police and fire departments. We have one
project for each weekend of the month leading up to Christmas. Our new
tradition.
Yes,
our kids enjoy Santa and stockings, and all the typical holiday fun. But
ultimately, for us, Christmas is a religious holiday. And I am thankful that we
have put the tradition of giving—not receiving—back at its core.
Jennifer Collins is a mom with a
day job and she likes to write about her victories and messes along the way.
This was her contribution to Brain
Child - the magazine for thinking moms.
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