Looking for an Easy Transition Back to School?

My street, that has been serenely quiet for 2 months, was a buzz this week with children’s chatter and giggles. There’s definite excitement in the air as another school year begins.

Some children will navigate this time with ease and others will be full of angst. If your child is in the latter group you’re likely carrying around some worry about how they’re going to manage this coming year. Now we know that worry won’t help, so let’s look at some simple steps for you to take that will help.

Step 1: Repeat the following three times - and out loud like you believe it! No cheating here. :)

“My child is capable of being resilient, adaptable and self-confident.”

Step 2: Visualize your child as already being there.

See their relaxed and happy face in other circumstances, and transfer it to school. Now picture you waving, relaxed and assured, as they go off to school with confidence. This is your goal for them– it may take a bit of time, but it can be done.

Step 3: Look for opportunities to encourage these attributes of resilience, adaptability and self-confidence in your child. Dig a little and I bet you’ll find many. Here are 3 ideas to get you started.

1. Don’t take away the ‘surprises’ in life. If you manage their life so it will go smoothly, for example – organize their pack, make their lunch, tell them yet again the plans for the day, book their play dates, etc. – how are they going to learn to handle the struggles and surprises of everyday life?

Or, perhaps you manage their life so your life will run more smoothly? Kids that pitch in, make decisions, and have a voice in family life feel more capable and confident. So be less quick to fix and find ways for them to take charge.

2. Next, make a sign reading “Mistakes are okay in our house” and post it in a prominent place. After all, if you’re going to do less for them it could be ‘ugly’ for a little while! You perfectionists out there will be shuddering but stay with me. Your child needs to be free of the fear of failure to embrace life fully, be adventurous and take some risk. So share the biggest goof of your day at dinner tonight, and sign the family up for wall climbing this weekend.

3. Confidence starts close to home. Children that can master their own community are then ready to master others. Some suggestions:

· Walk and talk. Walk to school, to local shops, to the park and talk about the streets, and the people that live in the homes you pass.
· Let your child lead. Have them show you how to cross a street safely, how to get home from here, and where the bus picks up.
· Encourage your child’s voice. Have them say hello to the crossing guard, place their own order to the ice cream vendor, and get to know the neighbours.

Good luck and we’re here to help if you could use a bit more parenting support and guidance. A great place to start is to check out our selection of Fall Classes at

parentingnetwork.ca!

Stay well!

Beverley Cathcart-Ross

Parents: Training IS Required!

“Parenting is one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever love.”

Certainly many of us have seen this popular aphorism used in advertising or highlighted in a magazine at least once since we’ve become parents. The underlying truth in this statement is that despite the Hollywood depiction of parenthood as wholly blissful and full of joy, being in the trenches with our children can be challenging, frustrating and down right difficult.

But what can we do? Gone are the days when extended families raised children together and the structure of our society is no longer conducive to the “it takes a village” approach to child rearing. The truth of the matter is that being a modern parent can be isolating and it is difficult to know where to turn for solid advice and guidance.

A poignantly written article by Anna Quindlen in a recent edition of Newsweek view Newsweek article ("A Teachable Moment: Being a parent is easy and intuitive, correct? Well, no-it's just customary to pretend that that's the case") references a study done several years ago by psychologist Laurie Miller Brotman where parents of young children from poor socioeconomic and troubled homes were enrolled in parenting programs emphasizing “consistent discipline, positive reinforcement for good behaviour – even how to get down on the floor and play.” The results were stunning and encouraging. “By the time the same kids were 11, both boys and girls were less aggressive, had less stress and the girls were less obese.”

This study speaks to the importance of parenting training. While most people will dedicate countless hours over their lifetimes updating work related skills and training to improve career success, there are few moms and dads who will take the time to register and attend a parenting course to improve skills for the benefit of their families. But investing a little time (an evening workshop or a 6 week course) can be well worth it – fewer power struggles, more sibling harmony, respectful and encouraging family communication and strengthened relationships.

From my own personal experience, aside from the helpful and applicable skills I’ve learned in the parenting courses I’ve attended, one of the biggest bonuses of being in these classes is the bonding with other struggling parents. Most of us (myself included) may sometimes pretend that we’ve got this parenting thing mastered. But there is something so liberating and refreshing about being in a room full of parents who are wiling to say “I messed up” or “my kid is driving me crazy” without recrimination. We listen to each other, gently offer respectful solutions and leave feeling refreshed, connected to other parents and hopeful for the future.

The bottom line is - parenting IS tough - but a little training will offer support and ideas to make this job one you truly will love.

Lori Wilson
Adlerian Parent in Training

For more information, email Joy at joy@parentingnetwork.ca
To help you make the shift towards more respectful, positive approaches with your children visit Parenting Network for our listing of popular parenting classes. Registration is now on!

© 2002-2009 Parenting Network. WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Parenting Network has helped thousands of parents become their best since 1989. So, why wait a moment longer? Check out their website Parenting Network for a listing of popular parenting classes and products.

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