"Boy Smarts" Speaker Comes to the Toronto Area

Parenting Network wants you to know about speakers who come to the Toronto area. These speakers we recommend to you, as they complement and add to what you're learning through our courses. Here's one, if you have a son!

Barry MacDonald is a teacher, therapist and father from Vancouver and spoke to a sold-out audience here in the spring. He's a specialist in parenting or teaching boys, and makes a return engagement this week.

More event details:

A great way to get a jumpstart on mentoring your son for success is to get yourself to Canada’s “Boy Expert” for an action-packed and fun-filled MUST SEE “Boy Smarts” presentation. Barry MacDonald’s talk is full of many "ah ha" moments that will leave your heart full with dozens of new ideas to be a calmer, happier and more effective parent.

Check out his website where you can sign up for his fabulous free e-newsletter and find loads of practical advice. Don't delay!

Order tickets from the box office today - Richmond Hill Tickets Box Office

Event flyer for more info: BoySmarts Richmond Hill event - Oct1 09

Comment back here on our blog once you attend. Share your insights. We'd love to hear about it!

Parenting Network is Toronto's leading company helping parents, caregivers and teachers to build relationships and family harmony. We've literally helped thousands of families over 20 years to create healthier family relationships and more harmony in your home through our courses, workshops, parent coaching, private counselling or classes.

If you are keen to make some family improvements, our classes will solve whatever little chaos you may have in your home… and that’s a guarantee!

Whether you’re the parent of a Toddler, Preteen or Teen, there’s a course to fit your stage.

Fall course registration is in full swing. Go to: Parenting Network to register now.

When a Parent's "I Love You" Means "Do As I Say"

In The New York Times this week in an article by the same name, Alfie Kohn convincingly makes the connection between unconditional love and acceptance for a child with the parenting tools that carry this message into action. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html?_r=1

You know the saying: "Actions speak louder than words", so you already know how desperately important this is. Read on!

Unconditional love is one of the 3 parenting attitudes needed to be effective with your child in the short and the long-term that we teach at Parenting Network. These attitudes are unique to our courses, and the secret to parenting effectively. [ Shh! Don't tell! ;-) It's secret!]

He pointedly shows how common parenting techniques (including those advocated by the "big" names of Dr. Phil and the Supernanny!) in fact do not lead parents to raise highly effective adults who are ready to meet life's challenges!

And since I haven't met a parent yet - in my 5 years of leading parenting classes & workshops - who has said: "Boy, I really want to make the childhood of my offspring more difficult & really give them lots of issues to deal with as an adult", then I KNOW that ALL parents (who are not negligent in their parenting role) have good intentions to love their children unconditionally.

So, what stands in your way to create the long-term results for your child that you want?

• "I didn't know!" is a common refrain. Sometimes, out of the best intentions come unintended negative results long-term - another way of saying "ignorance" or just not knowing. Kohn outlines some of the common parenting techniques, even those advocated by the "big" names of Dr. Phil and the Supernanny, that don't stand the test of time!
• "Parenting is experimenting, isn't it really? because nobody actually knows what will happen!" or lack of experience in parenting, because most of us haven't done it before. That's the beauty of the research studies quoted. They show that praising, criticizing, withholding love, withdrawing love, punishment, criticism, etc. don't work!

Quite often in our classes (maybe you're one of them - and that's okay!), parents tell me they don't understand how praise can be detrimental to a child's sense of how they see themselves--their self-esteem. Kohn writes clearly in the article about this connection and the negative long-term impact.

Conditions on love by parents does in fact lead to a child's loss of self-confidence, lack of closeness and caring in the parent-child relationship from the child's perspective. In our courses, you'll learn what ELSE doesn't work and what to REPLACE it with. And, we'll give you practice in class before you try it out at home!

Welcome back this fall to Parenting Network and the courses that support you through each step along the way. With us, you'll turn your good intentions into parenting moments with your kids that WILL stand the test of time - guaranteed!

Fall course registration is in full swing. Course size is limited - so don't delay!

Click on this link to see your course selection for parents of children, preteens, teens, How to Talk to Kids Will Listen, and maintaining a dynamic life partnership during your parenting years:
Parenting Network courses

by Joy Morassutti
Certified Parent Educator

Joy is Parenting Network 's specialist for the up to 10 years 'set' and teaches the "Parenting I - Raising Great Kids" course. Want to raise respectful, responsible, great kids? Parenting Network has helped thousands of parents do just that! This course is the place to start. Joy is also a trained parent coach - making positive and practical parenting solutions come together for you to create the harmony and joy you want to have in your home!

Looking for an Easy Transition Back to School?

My street, that has been serenely quiet for 2 months, was a buzz this week with children’s chatter and giggles. There’s definite excitement in the air as another school year begins.

Some children will navigate this time with ease and others will be full of angst. If your child is in the latter group you’re likely carrying around some worry about how they’re going to manage this coming year. Now we know that worry won’t help, so let’s look at some simple steps for you to take that will help.

Step 1: Repeat the following three times - and out loud like you believe it! No cheating here. :)

“My child is capable of being resilient, adaptable and self-confident.”

Step 2: Visualize your child as already being there.

See their relaxed and happy face in other circumstances, and transfer it to school. Now picture you waving, relaxed and assured, as they go off to school with confidence. This is your goal for them– it may take a bit of time, but it can be done.

Step 3: Look for opportunities to encourage these attributes of resilience, adaptability and self-confidence in your child. Dig a little and I bet you’ll find many. Here are 3 ideas to get you started.

1. Don’t take away the ‘surprises’ in life. If you manage their life so it will go smoothly, for example – organize their pack, make their lunch, tell them yet again the plans for the day, book their play dates, etc. – how are they going to learn to handle the struggles and surprises of everyday life?

Or, perhaps you manage their life so your life will run more smoothly? Kids that pitch in, make decisions, and have a voice in family life feel more capable and confident. So be less quick to fix and find ways for them to take charge.

2. Next, make a sign reading “Mistakes are okay in our house” and post it in a prominent place. After all, if you’re going to do less for them it could be ‘ugly’ for a little while! You perfectionists out there will be shuddering but stay with me. Your child needs to be free of the fear of failure to embrace life fully, be adventurous and take some risk. So share the biggest goof of your day at dinner tonight, and sign the family up for wall climbing this weekend.

3. Confidence starts close to home. Children that can master their own community are then ready to master others. Some suggestions:

· Walk and talk. Walk to school, to local shops, to the park and talk about the streets, and the people that live in the homes you pass.
· Let your child lead. Have them show you how to cross a street safely, how to get home from here, and where the bus picks up.
· Encourage your child’s voice. Have them say hello to the crossing guard, place their own order to the ice cream vendor, and get to know the neighbours.

Good luck and we’re here to help if you could use a bit more parenting support and guidance. A great place to start is to check out our selection of Fall Classes at

parentingnetwork.ca!

Stay well!

Beverley Cathcart-Ross