Making NEW Habits - Your Behaviorial System

It's that time of year to reflect on possible changes, changes for the better. Here's a post that explains how to approach change for more success...

Fold your arms. Which arm is on top, your left or your right? Do you know why?

Stand up for a minute and take a walk to the door. Which foot did you step out on? Why?

Sign your name. Sign it again. Are each of these signatures exactly alike?

Ever since you were born you have been learning new behaviors. At this age, you now have two different kinds of behaviors: organized and re-organizing. Your organized behaviors are habits, routines, things you do without hesitation. At this point in your life they feel automatic. But the first time (and several times following) you did them, they were new, creative and re-organizing.

Now you can fold your arms, step out on your right or left foot and sign your name without hesitation or having to think about it. You just do it. That’s because you have been doing each of these things for a long time and frequently enough that these behaviors are organized and habitual.

Any time you decide to change one of your behaviors, whether that be primarily an action, or a thought, or a feeling or emotion, you are re-organizing. This is difficult, challenging and hard to do. The more you practice this new behavior, the more automatic or habitual it will become. But this takes time, patience and presence. You have to remember to do your new re-organizing behavior before you fall back on the organized habit.

William James, father of the principals of modern psychology, said it took about three weeks of practicing a new behavior before it began to be habit. More modern research indicates the time to develop a new habit using re-organizing behaviors may take up to 6 months. The difference between these two time frames probably has something to do with how involved or complicated the new habit is. You can probably adapt to changing where your waste basket is in three weeks. But changing your automatic thoughts about the unfairness of your life to feeling grateful for today’s sunrise with a new opportunity to meet and greet others in the world may take up to 6 months of your conscious practice.

Today choose a new practice from your re-organizing behaviors for improved mental health & happiness. Keep track of how long it takes for this new practice to become an automatic habit. By now your daily challenges have given you lots of new ideas from which to choose. But if you don’t like any of these ideas, let your new re-organizing habit involve asking family and friends what they each do to improve their mental health & happiness. See if you can find one worth practicing yourself. Or spend some quiet, contemplative time and tap into your own creative, re-organizing system.

Here are a few more you could consider:

• Brushing and flossing your teeth twice a day
• Smiling all day long whether you are with another person or not.
• Eating fresh, locally grown fruit with every meal.
• Saying Thank you out loud every waking hour of your day.
• Spend 30 minutes a day (at least) outside in nature.

Keep track of your progress. Are you remembering to do your new re-organizing practice? Do you need to set up a system to help you be more conscious and conscientious? Make a guess how long you think this new practice will take before it becomes a habit. Put a star on your calendar for the day you believe your new practice has become a habit.

Make Today a Happy One,

The Team at Mental Health and Happiness
A Subsidiary of The William Glasser Institute - US.

The Ticket to Happiness - for you and your child

Feeling happier is easier than you think. Dr. Glasser, founder of Choice Theory psychology, has a daily challenge to better health and happiness for 2016.  Here’s a tip from a recent post…

“All behavior is total. What that means is that acting, thinking, feeling (emotions) and physiology (what’s happening in your body) all occur simultaneously. When one component, such as acting, is changed everything else changes too.

In other words, if you're feeling blue, or grumpy, or even depressed, and you smile (change your action) your thinking, feeling and physiology will change. Smiling can help you feel better! This is true whether the smile is authentic, faked, or manipulated by putting a pencil horizontally between your lips and teeth.

Other benefits? You are more attractive to other people when you smile. Smiling is contagious, as in smile and the world smiles with you. And smiling reduces your body's stress response.

Today spend your day smiling. Smile at your kids and your pets. Smile at other people, whether you know them or not. Smile while you are driving, reading your emails, washing dishes, walking and playing the piano. Smile while you eat. In fact, every time you see the color red, smile. Don't want to smile at red, then choose another color. And don't forget to smile especially warmly and sincerely when you see and speak with those people you love.”

Other resources to up the happiness quotient in your family!                

      ·      Take one of our popular parenting courses -> Raising Great Parents; Teens: Yes You Can Have a Good Relationship

     ·      Google some laugh tracks and get laughing! Here’s one to get you started.

Make Your Day a Happy One!

Beverley & Doone