A
self-diagnosed 'helicopter dad' was lamenting how he imagines, without
fail, the worst-case scenario every day. In his article, he notes that, "As a culture,
we are obsessed with protecting kids – from building playgrounds with cushioned
surfaces to preventing them from climbing trees. Where does this worry
come from? I don’t want it, but can’t escape it."
We regularly hear the same fear and anxiety from parents in our courses. The best cure, we have found, is to help parents understand the source of their fears and then equip them with the tools to manage them.
Fear is an important and vital signal from our brain. It motivates us to respond quickly in life-threatening situations, protecting both us and our children. Another powerful motivator, one that we are all born with, is the desire to be adventurous, create and learn. The challenge for us parents is to know when to listen to our fears and when to let go of them - to harness both motivators effectively.
We regularly hear the same fear and anxiety from parents in our courses. The best cure, we have found, is to help parents understand the source of their fears and then equip them with the tools to manage them.
Fear is an important and vital signal from our brain. It motivates us to respond quickly in life-threatening situations, protecting both us and our children. Another powerful motivator, one that we are all born with, is the desire to be adventurous, create and learn. The challenge for us parents is to know when to listen to our fears and when to let go of them - to harness both motivators effectively.
It
may be counter-intuitive, but the best protection for our kids over time, is to
help them build immunity by exposing them to certain risks, versus protecting
them from imagined or potential hurts.
Some ways to ease a transition
away from parenting with fear:
1) Ask yourself - "Is this a life-threatening situation?" If not, put your fear aside for now.
2) Let kids handle as many challenges as possible. Often we parent for the short term, stick handling for our kids now, hoping they'll learn later.
3) Believe in your child's ability to handle what comes their way. Take comfort that even if they struggle - skin a knee or have a disappointment - they learn that uncomfortable feelings can be sustained, be dealt with, and eventually overcome.
1) Ask yourself - "Is this a life-threatening situation?" If not, put your fear aside for now.
2) Let kids handle as many challenges as possible. Often we parent for the short term, stick handling for our kids now, hoping they'll learn later.
3) Believe in your child's ability to handle what comes their way. Take comfort that even if they struggle - skin a knee or have a disappointment - they learn that uncomfortable feelings can be sustained, be dealt with, and eventually overcome.
If you have succeeded in 'letting go' of your own fears please share your tips!
warmly, Beverley & Doone
Other resources:
- Register in a Parenting Course - Early Bird Special on NOW!
- Check out this audio parenting CD: Too tough or too permissive?
