THE JOYS AND CHALLENGES OF GRANDPARENTING

The car in front of me had a bumper sticker saying,

If I Knew How Wonderful Grandparenting Was, I Would Have Done It First!

As a grandmother of 6 children from ages 6 to 13 years, I pondered this statement.



How is grandparenting different from parenting?

I loved the time I spent with my own kids. It certainly brought a lot of joys and rewards, but one can’t deny that it also had some challenging times. After all, as parents, my husband and I felt totally responsible for them in every way, just like our children feel now about their own children. Parents often run themselves ragged meeting all the schedules they set up for their children.


It is different with Grandparenting. We have the opportunity to widen their horizons, to expose them to various activities that perhaps their parents are not involved in. In our case, we can share our love of classical music, opera and sailing.

Not only can different activities be shared, but also a more relaxed attitude can be shown around the mistakes and difficult behaviours children often dish out. That combination of age and experience gives us the comfort to say, “This too will pass!”



Each grandparent can develop a certain special relationship with their grandchildren, which sometimes may be different from the one they have with their parents. The kids are smart enough to handle this. This doesn’t have to cause conflict, unless we feel the need to convince our grown children that our way is best! The parents’ position has to be respected, knowing that they also want the best for their children.

If our ideas of raising the grandkids are different from their own parents’, our major rule is: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

It can be difficult but keeping a strong, cordial relationship with our children and their spouses is paramount.

So we can see our grandchildren more often because:

Grandparenting is great!

› Email Georgine@parentingnetwork.ca

Georgine Nash, Co-founder of Parenting Network.

Find out more about us at parentingnetwork.ca or browse our catalogue for available parenting courses in your area.

What is this Consensual Parenting?

What is this Consensual Parenting?

If you saw the article last week on “Consensual Parenting” in the press, you might have had some unanswered questions.

Consensual parenting devotees give their children a lot of ‘choice and say’ in family decisions. For example, one mom was willing to cancel a doctor’s appointment if her child was crabby, or find childcare. The concern for many parents is - when is this an act of respect for the child and when is it pampering or permissiveness?

Often power struggles with young children can be avoided by providing the child a say in small matters. Generally, this approach works best when the parents’ lives are not too much affected by the decision. For example, not worrying if the child wants to go out with messy hair or the same favourite clothes day after day can be helpful.

You wouldn’t believe how much easier things can get when parents don’t “sweat the small stuff”. The problem is trying to decide exactly what “the small stuff” is, because it differs for every parent. However, once the parent starts doing extra work, ie laundry, to accommodate the child’s choice, then the pampering has started and it can be a slippery slope.

Parents have the right to make choices as well and have a say over what they are willing to do and not do. This is about self-respect – often a neglected concept these days!

Children should not have choices where absolute health and safety are concerned. But they can help decide how often broccoli is on the menu or how high they are going to climb on the monkey bars or how many spots something has to have before it goes in the laundry.

Bedtime can be tricky if the child believes he is being ‘shunted’ off to bed, but often a choice of lights out at 7:30 or 7:45pm and a choice of one story or two will solve the problem.
And if children are given the opportunity to choose what they are going to take for snack when they end up in the car on the way to the doctor’s office, the parent will likely get more co-operation.
To help you make the shift towards more respectful, democratic approaches with your children check out our website Parenting Network for our listing of popular parenting classes and products.

› Email Doone@parentingnetwork.ca

Doone Estey, Parent Educator.

Find out more about us at parentingnetwork.ca or browse our catalogue for available parenting courses in your area.